It's about 87 degree's out and summer is coming to an official (calendar) end this week...

It doesn't feel like fall is around the bend but I know that in no time, it will be October..and I'm relieved. I've said it before, I feel like I am ready for fall. I love each season in its own way, and fall for me this year just feels like it is the end to a crazy year...

Now, perhaps this thinking is somewhat carnal in that God is the one to bring the true [spritual] 'seasons' in our lives...however, with the actual changing of the seasons, I think my mind will recognize it all the more. Because in that, I can physically see the transition in the leaves and sky. I will begin to feel the crispness in the air and sniff out the smokey scent that fall fireplaces bring. Soon the tree's will be bare and the moist grass strewn with the rainbow of Autumn. And I will look to the cloudy, amber sunsets and think of the year that has come and gone so quickly. In that moment of bittersweet rememberance of the events that unfolded this year...I can still thank God for everything..He still deserves all my praise and thanks..

Because no matter where I was physically and where my heart broke at times, God was always there to love me, to hold me, to sharpen me and mold me. I never in my wildest imagination would have ever thought this year (or any other for that matter) would have gone the way it did. Are there things I would have changed? In my simple mind, yes. Am I going to sit here and tell God he slipped up on this one, never.

You see the thing about this whole "God" thing is that although life doesn't become easier, it does become doable and you find joy, peace on confidence in ways you would never have without Christ in your life. Just because I pray a prayer doesn't mean I get that "get-out-of-jail-free" card. But let me tell you something, and I want you to listen with your heart...having Christ in my life, was the best decision I have ever, EVER, ever made...life may not get easier, but the strength through Christ that you gain allows you & affords you the opportunity to not just 'get through' things. Rather what you gain in Christ, it all carries you above the storms. And the peace in it all is...beyond anything I can describe. It boils down to this: when you try to do it right, with God, by God..He honors that. I know, that everything I have been through so far in my 24 years of life has made me the person I am today. God is not finished with me yet, so please; have patience with me. Give me a little grace because I am not perfect. But, God is. His ways are far above ours...He is in every circumstance and only wants the best for us. So in knowing that...I know, everything is alright. Not "it will be" alright..it already is. Because God said so. Remain close to Him. Reman in in Him, and you can do all things.

It's ironic how thinking of leaves falling, certain tree's not bearing much fruit and all that fall does to the cycle of plant life...how in all of this, I can't help but meditate on John 15:5, "Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing" In this time...I ask God with all my heart that He remain in me as I yearn to remain in Him. Jesus let me produce the good fruit you would have me to...

I want to be used, blessed and molded. Like the changing of the leaves I pray that God stirs and creates a change in me mentally and emotionally. I know He is able. I know He is true to His Word. I know He is just and faithful to His children.

I'm excited for this new season in my life and will be content and happy with where I am at so far. I kept saying, "I'll still find joy and peace 'in the mean time' "...well, this isn't "the mean time" this is IT. This is THE time. Get your act together because this is NOT a dress rehearsal, you only get one shot at life. Every season has its cue's and purpose...I encourage you to take a step back and really observe where you are, what you have come from, see where you need to make changes and ask God to do some heart surgery...fix the brokennessor pain so that you can continue to serve Him..or maybe just begin to. He has equipped you to handle it all, you just have to read the manual ;)

So, I look ahead...I remain in Christ and I work at it all. Getting right. Feeling whole. Finding joy & being used. Because God isn't finished with me yet. I can feel Him working in me...turning over a new leaf...so grateful Lord...

I wrote the back in April on my other (now retired) blog Not Broken (PCOS/Infertility/Life) and I heard this song just now on my Pandora "worship" station...I so needed this reminder...it softened my heart to the things God is doing in my life right now and the place I am now in. I know I have to find joy in everything..even some of THE most heartbreaking parts.

I definately have my moments of weakness...a few have come quite recently..but I still have hope. I still have faith and I still put my trust in the hands of my Saviour, Jesus Christ. God, be my strength...

If you want me to-Ginny Owens...

The pathway is broken/ And the signs are unclear /And I don't know the reason why/ You brought me here/ But just because You love me /the way that You do I'm gonna walk through the valley/ If You want me to

No I'm not who I was /When I took my first step/ And I'm clinging to the promise/ You're not through with me yet /So if all of these trials bring me closer to /You Then I will go through the fire /If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen /When You lead me through a world that's not my home /But You never said it would be easy /You only said I'll never go alone/ So when the whole world turns against me /And I'm all by myself And I can't hear You answer my cries for help/ I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through /And I will go through the darkness/ If You want me to

When I cross over Jordan, I'm gonna sing, gonna shout /Gonna look into your eyes and see you never let me down /So take me on the pathway that leads me home to you /And I will walk through the valley if you want me to /Yes, I will walk through the valley if you want me to

 

.......

"Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."

Psalm 23:4 "These trials are only to test your faith.. It's (faith) being tested as fire tests and purifies gold...." 1 Peter 1:7

 That's right folks it's official! I am on day ONE of this five day juice fast! It all started with a little (award winning and popularly known & acclaimed) documentary, Fat Sick & Nearly Dead. The documentary is about (and by) a business man from Australia who after years of being over weight, eating unhealthy, suffering from an autoimmune disease, being on countless medications and just being unhealthy over all-decides to take on a 60 day juice fast. The fast essentially cleanses your body and nourishes you as well (so you are NOT starving yourself). Our bodies need certain amounts of micronutrients and vitamins daily to be healthy and sustained. We eat and eat and eat mostly processed and overly processed foods trying to gain what we need, but because all of what we eat has so little of what we need--we eat more than we need to. Thus our cells are damaged and cannot properly absorb and repurpose those micronutrients and vitamins even if we were to get them.

The juice fast, cleanses and stregthens your cells so that they can do their job all the while cleansing out your entire body, and "rebooting" it to be able to perform top notch again, that way it was meant to. When we eat fruits and veggies in their most raw/natural state-we get everything we need.

In the documentary (sorry I don't want to spoil too much) but...Joe, the Australian Business man, loses a ton of weight, reverses his autoimmune disease (almost unheard of) and looks amazing! 15 years younger! He has more energy, is more alert, skin looks great...its such a transformation. And again--completely healthy. He was monitored by his doctors the entire time. (I am very much a skeptic when it comes to cleanses, fasts, diets etc..but this is legit and healthy). In the file you meet two other people who also tried the fast for their own health reasons and made dramatic transformations as well.

So, now..here I am. Sitting in my living room jaw dropped & eyes filled with tears after finishing the documentary. The transformations and life stories are dramatic, touching and real. Two men reverse their autoimmune diseases. One woman, cured of migraines. One man drops 202 lbs and is able to be taken off all blood pressure & cholesterol medications. All. Did I say all? I meant ALL!

Now, I'm not trying to say this will cure anyone of anything. I'm not even saying it's all amazingly easy either. I am day one and I already want to side eye the next person I see eating food! haha...

Here are some reasources for info to browse through OR get you started:

*Here is the website, Fat Sick & Nearly Dead

*Info if you want to do the reboot (juice fast) but manitain the weight you are at, like me.

*Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead Juice Recipes to try

*Other juice recipe's from another website: DrinkRawJuice.Com (last night I tested out the "sleep better" recipe (added an apple as well) and it was delish! zzzZZzz

*Here is the Breville Juicer we bought (similar to the one used in the film) of course, you could buy any juicer you want.


Last night, I went to the store and bought $70 worth of fruits and veggies for a 5 days fast for both Chris and me. My spoils consisted of: celery, carrots, strawberries, nectarines, ginger root, apples, pineapple, small watermelon, spinach, kale, pears, lemons, cucumbers, bellpeppers & grapefruit. This evening after work I still need to get beets, cabbage & kiwi :)

my basket :)

my refigerator, a lot is all chopped and washed. ready to go!

Here is the run down for Day 1:

me, last night testing out a recipe from DrinkRawJuice.Com
(link is above, see "Other" juice recipes)

Breakfast: blend of strawberries, carrots, cucumber, apples, pears & a handful of spinach. Yum!

Lunch: blend of swiss chard, spinach, celery, carrots, parsley & lemon. Y-U-C-K. tasted like lemon-y, pepper-y GRASS! I dumped it and went and bought an orange-carrot juice from Jamba (still just juice) I will NOT use swiss chard EVER again.

Dinner: I will do carrots, cucumber, celery, spinach, apple & parsley

Snacks/supplements?: yes, snacked on cashews & peanuts here and there

Feeling right now: earlier (tmi) alert but...I felt..well gassy! eek! yes! your body feels the effects right away..I also felt a little bloated and went #1 like 5 times in one hour! Right now, I am hungry..still. Kinda tired but I think that's from the restless night I had sleeping alone since my husband is out of town right now.

other blends I love:

-carrot/orange
-pink grape fruit/watermelon
-apple, celery, strawberry, carrot
-carrot/parsely/celery
-cucumber/apple/spinach/pear


I am not doing this to lose a crazy ammount of weight. But..just to reboot my body, get back to eating healthy again & maybe..just maybe it can all help with PCOS/Infertility issues? Hey, it can't hurt to try. Infact, either way; it will actually help me! I am excited to see how this progresses. Don't get me wrong, right now I just want to cave and eat some bread. But I wont! I'll stay strong.

I should also add that I am supplementing with Ensure once a day to add protein (it's safe for me as I cannot/shoud not lose too much real weight) I also try to run 3 times a week and do other stregthening (barre) workouts on the days I don't run. Of course, with this fast, I will adjust the intensity of each workout according to juice intake & my overall feeling for the day. I will always do some kind of workout though. It's all about being healthy!


Bottoms up!

xo

Normal isn't what it used to be. I pray, and pray to God, "please....I just want to feel normal again"...and then I stop and think about what normal is...and, I can't give it a clear definition. I don't know what that is anymore...

Because now, normal is...different. There is a "new" normal to define me. After certain life experiences, normal takes on a whole new meaning whether it be from you, your circumstances, your doctor, your judge, your spouse, parent or whoever--normal is never really normal or the same...

Feeling thing's I know are not from God, I know..isn't healthy. If it's not from God I shouldn't receive it. And 90% of the time, I am good at fighting the mental and emotional battle women go through, especially women who have suffered a loss like mine...sometimes it just gets tough.

I'm not looking for pity or sadness or "oh, poor thing"...I just need prayers..and a little extra grace..God know's my needs...He will supply them. I know I can trust that.

xo

Today was the Oakland A's Faith Day...and of course, I planned to dress the part ;)  The only problem was..my only A's shirt was a long sleeve. Not gonna work. So! I found a tutorial on Pinterest (I am OBsessed with this site!)...anyway..a tutorial on pintrest showed me how to transfor a large t-shirt into a cute baby doll top..:ahem: allow me:




the shirt before




cut the sleeves and collar all on the other side of the seam. also,
cut the hem on the bottom and then one more strip off the bottom for the straps. (you will only need the body of the shirt & the strip you cut above the hem, the rest is scrap)



I fold the top part over in the front and back, leaving space to slip the "strap" through and sew along the
 "collar" about an inch down.

now, I don't have a sewing machine..if I did I would have sewn it with that like the tutorial shows.
But! I only had 20 minutes and thread & needle I.. know, its NOT the prettiest but its all I had :)



After :)  I slipped the strap through the front and back and tied it on my right shoulder.
Ready! :)


It was SO hot today...thank God I had this to wear..and I got compliments all day! :) Phew!