Clouded with that thick, cotton candy shade of sparkle; you've heard it before. New parents gush as they snuggle their new little bundle: "I can't even remember what life was like before this little blessing! We are so complete!"

As enchanting as it all sounds (and truth be told, at some point or another in parenthood I believe THAT feeling is very real) let me tell you…I REMEMBER. I remember what life was like before my children. I had a job I got up and got dressed and did my makeup for, where I had actual conversations with other adults and a whole uninterrupted hour to have lunch. Lunch that consisted of whatever I wanted to eat and not composed of only the things I could also share with my 1 year old. Fridays were actually Fridays and something to celebrate. I could go anywhere I wanted with my husband and sleep in on Saturday only to eat breakfast for lunch, lunch for dinner and over salted popcorn at the movies for dessert. I had the freedom to shower, eat, sleep or use the restroom whenever I darn well pleased. I had a social life that didn't revolve around nap times or sickness and a vocabulary that didn't include "breast milk", "sleep training", "bubble guppies" or "me time" because all the time was ME time. Can I be painfully and completely honest? And this is really, really hard to admit…because when you feel the words fall off of your lips- your heart drops about 6 inches south and somehow the words cause you to feel as if you don't love your children as much as you believe you do. But--

I miss my B.C days. The days before children. Some days I miss them beyond words, other days I don't care for them much at all. Because when your toddler is regressing in her once twelve-hours-straight-through-the-whole-night sleep and your two month old literally wills herself to not go down for the night until 12 a.m and you have a migraine and a sick husband: you ache for a pause button. Literally-every part of your brain and soul would give anything for just one day free of anyone and seemingly everything needing you, pulling at you, whining for you and calling for you. If you have ever felt this way, like I have-its okay.

It is normal. It is inevitable. It is actually rational. You see, for most parents, a moment of weakness like this will happen. I break somewhere inside mentally and I flash back to the days where silence was taken for granted and sleep was as abundant as the day is long.

But I also remember those days and how much I longed for children. I cried out in prayer for a big, round belly and aching back. I yearned for a baby…a family…a life that meant carseats, spit up, disney junior, cutting up all the food into inhumanly small pieces, sleepless nights and 4 am snuggles with my newborn. I would've given anything to hold all of the babies I was ever pregnant with and yet now I wrestle between wanting what I have now and the freedom I had before children. The guilt that coincides with this is unlike any other. How awful is it for a woman who has longed for this life to fantasize about the former? Well…I'm human after all. And I have moments of utter weakness (usually due to utter exhaustion). And wishing for just a small slice of the life I had pre-kids doesn't mean I love them any less, it just means I still love myself enough to realize that I need moments like that. And that is important too. If we don't take care of ourselves as parents we are useless and sometimes harmful to our kids because out of secondary frustration we yell, hit, ignore or lash out more...

What I realize even clearer is that times like that-the moments that make me cry out in frustration are fleeting and pale in comparison to the gentle reminders of how much I love this life. I hear giggles and joy filled shrieks come from the closed bathroom door as my husband bathes our toddler. My two and a half month old smiles ear to ear just because I walked by her as she coo's in her bouncy seat. The calm after the storm as both girls are finally asleep at the same time once Aria falls asleep around 12:00 am. I watch her breathe that shallow infant breath in and out, in and out…and I cannot believe they are all mine. I cannot believe I have these two amazing little people under my roof. And I cannot believe that in spite of my temporary moments of insanity that they love me unconditionally and literally with everything in them. I've never known a love like that until them. And God Bless my husband...

He reminds me in the middle of all.of.the.stuff hitting the fan that this is just a season. They will soon sleep on the same schedule, Aria will go to bed sooner in a month or two, Mayah will potty train with ease one day, Aria will take the bottle at some point. And if not, we will still enjoy this time in our lives.

So if you're like me, and you can remember your B.C days with fondness, throw the guilt to the wind and raise your glass. It's ok. It's normal and it's just a sign you need to create some space for yourself. To reconnect, rest, think or breathe. Please do.

One day they will sleep better. One day they will sit at the table and eat a complete meal in one fell swoop. One day we will sleep from 10:00pm to 9:00 am straight and wake up in a panic wondering if everyone is up and fed only to realize "everyone" has been out of the house for years. Today you may be exhausted and at your wits end, but one day there will be a crib to take a part and sell off and car seats to remove and never lay eyes on again. One day they won't be there sleeping at the wrong end of the crib as you peek in their room and one day you won't have spit up on your clean shirt. One day they won't need you to rescue them as you to snuggle them back to sleep at 5:00 am. One day you won't feel their little body lay all its weight on you as you rock them back to sleep...and feel their heartbeat against yours. Until then, let's resolve to take care of us and enjoy them…because this is the most amazing thing I've ever done and I know you feel the same way.

"Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart"-Whinnie the Pooh

from our home to yours!

download for free HERE

printable is downloadable as a pdf or jpg and is sized to be able to be sized down or up depending on how big or small you would like this in your home! it is mint/black colored and uses various fonts. I will soon design some in neutral colors with one font (different options) and be selling those very soon! enjoy! please let me know what you think and in which room of your house this will hang :)

xo

Kris

...

Of all the beautiful things I have ever beheld, all pale in comparison the little wonder that is my girl. My 30 inch, 20 pound, one year old blessing. She is strong willed, hilarious, adventurous, sweet and loving. She fears nothing and loves unconditionally. And of all the wonderful things I could say about her and all the ways I can build her up and encourage the amazing little thing she is becoming, I know some day my baby girl will encounter the hurtful side of words and my heart breaks. 

Words were meant for edification, encouragement, support and love. We were made to speak life and positivity; truth and destiny. My heart is that she would never ever be torn down by anyone, especially another girl. Sadly, the truth is that many use their words to hurt others and I can't say I blame them for that behavior, at least not the full blame. The media encourages bad girl-on-girl behavior and hate. Gossip, slander, name calling, lies, deceit, disregard and lack of self control are taught by the television and movies our daughters watch. Poor body image, low self-esteem and self pity are side effects of reading magazines geared toward girls (or women for that matter). Music demeans women and values we should cling to. Bullying in schools seems to be more and more prevalent and has been carried into parts of the cyber world parents can't keep up with.

Every female alive no matter their ethnicity, social status or age has experienced some sort of pain that comes from the syllables that escape another's mouth. 

Ugly.

Stupid.

Unwanted.

Useless.

Fat.

Weird. 

Loner.

Loser.

Worthless.

Fake

Nobody.

And more labels I cannot bear to type out, for I know the little eyes that might come across this post. 

You know what? Words hurt. They cut deep and last a lifetime for some. They are spoken by strangers, so called friends, family members and even mothers. Groomed to think social gossip and the occasional dis is just a part of "being a girl", too many young ladies are taught that it is acceptable and normal. My own experience at the receiving end of harsh talk still stings sixteen years later. 

Growing up I was skinny, small, lanky and shy. I had a big nose, crooked teeth, scrawny legs and chipped nail polish. I didn't know there was anything wrong with how I looked until I got to middle school and some of the popular girls made it their daily task to remind me just how ugly, unpopular and alone I was. I would spend breaks and lunches in a bathroom stall, eating my lunch next to someone doing their business. On field trips I was never picked to be anyone's "buddy" and in high school approaching school dances hurt because I knew no boy would ever ask or even look my way. My daily joy, confidence and purpose hung within the balances of the hurtful words spoken. Young lady, I know what it is like to feel as alone and invisible as possible. To be reduced to about 2 inches tall and sent hiding behind doors and under under my covers in tears because I felt so down on myself. I let them win.

To think that one day my precious, innocent daughter could possibly feel exactly how I and so many girls this very second feel...heartbreaking doesn't even begin to describe it. I cannot, I will not allow it. To the best of my ability I have to try and change this way of life so many have engrained in their minds. We need to teach our girls to go against what society has skillfully programmed and what many of us tend to teach without even trying. I forgo the nose job I so desperately wanted as a teenager, because I am so much more secure in myself now. And if my daughter should grow up to have the same nose as her mama and her mama, I don't want the nose job I got to tell her there is something wrong with her and we should fix it. I don't want the obsession with body image to trump the focus on who she is on the inside and how she treats others (and herself). I never want her to hate who she is or what she see's in the mirror. I never want her to make another girl feel badly about herself either.

My child is worth it. She is worth so much more...they are all worth so much more. We are all examples to the generation behind us whether we want to be or not; good or bad, right or wrong. My hope is that we learn to model what it is to support our sisters in life. That we show females how to speak good things over one another rather than tear each other down out of jealousy, hate, ignorance and hurt. We have a responsibility and we need to start now. 

So if no one has ever told you...

You are beautiful. Really.

You are worth far more than the most valuable diamond anyone could find.

You do have so much to contribute to this world and there is a purpose and destiny there for you, you'd be amazed.

There is nothing wrong with your waist, chest or shoe size.

Rock those glasses.

Embrace those braces.

Your curls are fierce and that smile, infectious. 

Freckles are beyond cute and your nose, hair, teeth, stomach and thighs are exactly how they should be.

There was no mistake made when the wonder that is you was created and you are a one of a kind beauty.

You are loved, valued, cherished and important.

You are worth it.

xo,

Kris

"This is exactly what I am supposed to be doing."

That is what I thought to myself last night as I stood before 30 junior high girls. We had an awesome worship set, a special, God gave me a message about making certain right choices and then we had ministry time at the altar. Through out the message I encouraged the girls that either you CHOOSE or you LOSE. We challenged them to choose purity in all forms (how they think, what they look at, how they talk, dress and within the area of boys). We challenged them to choose love eachother, both friends and strangers and girls of all shapes, sizes and backgrounds. We challenged them to choose to love themselves. And we challeged the to choose Jesus. Because all of the stuff before it can all sound really nice..but without Jesus in their hearts, all that goodness falls by the wayside.

Some of the girls made first time decisions and gave their hearts to Jesus last night. A few others realized they  needed to get back up and walk the path they know God has for them...many of them had already made that decision.

Then, when they know personally who we are sharing from...well then it all can start to make sense. So as we prayed...as the sweet song sung by Kari Jobe "My Beloved" played...as these precious young ladies fell to their knee's and sobbed from the pain of self loathing, low self esteem, a heart check and so much more...I stood there...

Did you know that in a survey of girls in America aged 13-17, 43% of them said they would compromise themselves for their boyfriend? Did you know that one survey found that in girls aged 9-10, 40% of them have tried to lose weight? Did you know that in our country, 53% of 13 year old girls are unhappy with their bodies? Did you know that 93% if teenage girls wish they could change something about their bodies? Did you also know that only 2% of American teenage girls consider themselves beautiful?

TWO percent.

Wait-you didn't know? Neither did I. I mean I knew I definitely had self esteem issues growing up. I knew that I was teased and outright treated like I was invisible all through junior high. I knew that most of my sixth grade year was spent eating my lunch alone in the bathroom or in my english teachers class as she graded papers. I knew that I constantly volunteered to do certain group projects alone before we could even pick partners because most of the time, I was left to just be assigned by my teacher to a group. I knew the pain I had experienced. I also knew some of them had some issues with self-image. Why then was I beyond oblivious and quite honestly "too busy" to care?

My heart broke...it just fell to a million little pieces. I was so convicted by my apathy. Surely these girls get some encouragement from their parents? Surely they feel our love when we say hello or give them a big hug when we see them in service. Yea...yea..they are fine.

Can I tell you something? The kids are not alright.

As we had our altar time, as my women leaders made their way through to pray for each girl...I tried to pray and my voice cracked, my heart pounded and I felt so hot all over. I felt their pain. I saw the tears stream from their eyes, I saw their hands clenched together as they prayed that God would heal their hearts and minds...I saw as their bodies jerked from crying as a leader layed hands and poured love and prayer over them...

God did heart surgery and he helped trasnform minds last night. We declared out loud that we CHOOSE life. We CHOOSE purity of the mind, body and spirit. We CHOOSE to love eachother and to love ourselves for EXACTLY who we are...and we CHOOSE JESUS...above all we choose Jesus...

The songs kept playing...they girls prayed over eachother. They embraced eachother and began to tell eachother they were beautiful and a perfect creation. They left it all there...here is what some of them said in their promises they wrote down to leave at the altar :

"I choose purity in all forms. I think if I do that then I will really be able to accept Jesus' truths and I will learn to love myself."

"Sometimes I feel like I am not pretty because I am not skinny. But now I will accept myself for who I am because GOD made me and I love Him."

"I need to choose to love my face and my body."

"I choose Jesus."

"I was bullied, so now I bully. But I need help in my attitude. To not judge. To accept myself too and not gossip. To let people (girls) into my life."

"I choose to love others, I struggle with friends."

"I choose Jesus. I don't like certain things about me. I need to learn that God made me perfect. I am not a mistake"

"To not focus on my weight. I need to love myself. And love God more."

"I need to choose to love myself and stop thinking I am not a regular girl. I need to learn I am made perfect in God's eyes"

There are so many more...but as I stood there...as I saw them lay these little stickie notes down with their promises on them at the altar...I couldn't help my cry with them. To hug them. To pull their hair back and whipe their tears. And all I thought was, "This is exactly what I am supposed to be doing." Not so much in the sense that I feel called to be a minister..but it's that I love these girls. I-and every other woman should be pouring into the younger generations. Offering to help teach God's word and truth to them. They are so bombarded with just junk. They need encouragement, they need affirmation, they need love...

God just moved so big in them last night. I believe he opened their eyes to a lot, even things about themselves that it can be really hard to face. To God be ALL the glory for last night...in no way, shape or form could I have drummed any of that up....I am so, so, so grateful to God that he gave us all the opportunity to come together-just the ladies....so grateful. They left feeling lighter, smiling a little bigger and with arms wrapped around eachother...so awesome..God is so good.

We are not done. Oh no...far from it...this is just the beginning...these girls are ready for more...

Kari Jobe-My Beloved

(such a beautiful song)

Here are some of my favorite insiprational printables/quotes I found online (pkay, okay....on Pinterest really..lol) Just for you!! Enjoy!

I just *love* this picture...I want to hang it in my home :) So pure!

Yes!

This is my desktop on my computer at work! (tiled) :)

I want this blow up and hung in my home!

I remind myself of this all time time...xo

Amen!!

HOLLA!

Aren't these great?! Of course, nothing substitutes for what scripture can bring...I just like these too!!

xo

Kris

I just love, love LOVE kids...LOVE. Did I say love? I meant LOVE! They don't take themselves seriously, every GOOD thing is like, the BEST thing that has ever happened to them. They love hard & smile often. They only have to have what they need to be ontop of the world and their hearts are golden. Kids...are the best.

Everyone that knows me, knows kids are my heart...

 I have tons more I can post...but to save you from JUST scrolling through pictures :) I wanted to post a few really cool activities for kids, kid friendly recipes, tips & tricks and some other good stuff! Let's make these little blessings smile!

My fave kid-friendly recipe's:

Cracker Baked Chicken...............................
I absolutely LOVE making this for and with kids..they can help crush the crackers and dip them in the butter and cracker coating! Make sure to wash those little hands of with lots of warm soapy water after!

Ingredients:

-2-3 lbs chicken (I like the boneless, skinless tenderloins but you could also use chicken breasts etc, if you  use bone in you will have to lengthen the cooking time)
-3/4 cup melted butter

-Saltine crackers (when crushed you'll want about 2 cups)

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F
2. Place one to two packages of saltines in a ziplock bag. Push all the air out and seal the bag tight. Place it on the counter and let your kid(s) go to town smashing the crackers to bits!
3. (I add some pepper, salt & Mrs. Dash (sodium free) seasoning to the crackers and the butter for added seasoning. Adding the seasoning to the butter ensures the seasoning is in all the layers!   
4. Dip the chicken pieces in the melted butter/margarine. Coat with the crushed salted cracker crumbs. Place on a cookie sheet lined with tin foil and bake in the preheated oven for 30 mins
5. Serve with yummy dipping sauces like bbq, ranch and/or ketchup!        

Pick-your-pasta...............................................

I love doing this because it gets the kids involved with the cooking and what they eat. They see what goes in, they see what THEY picked...so cute the kick they get out of "helping"..

Ingredients:
-linguine/spaghetti/bowtie/rigatone (which ever pasta is easiest for you kid to eat. with little ones I stick with bowtie, its cute and easy for them to pick up. Don't be afraid to over cook your pasta with kids. overcooked=good with kids)
-fixings: baby carrots, diced carrot, green beans, brocolli, yellow squash, yellow/orange bell pepper, garbanzo beans, slices or pepperoni, slices of ham, slices of chicken, kidney beans, corn etc.
-toppings: shredded cheese, parmesan cheese, marinara sauce, alfredo sauce

The idea is to create a spread of which ever type of past+fixings+toppings. Cook the pasta, drain and allow your child to select from the array of fixings. Toss the pasta and fixings in a pan with some butter or olive oil just until your veggies are heated through. Toss it in a bowl and add whichever toppings your child loves. Usually the tykes want shredded cheese and/or chicken!

Getting them involved in the kitchen allows for quality time, conversation, laughs and gets your child invloved with what he/she is eating. Enjoy!!

Yummy Fruit Dip..................................................
Friends of ours introduced this to me and they served it along side strawberries. I think it goes with any fruit really! The best part: there are only TWO ingredients!

Ingredients
-sour cream
-brown sugar

Stir up 2 cups of sour cream with 2-3 table spoons of brown sugar (you can add more or less, whichever suits your taste buds)..stir both up until you get this lovely tan cream...tangy and sweet!

Serve it along side fruit for a great snack! (Have yet to try this but...I'm thinking I want to try subbing the sour cream for some cottage cheese!)

-For the littler ones:
  *Toddler food ideas
  *homemade baby food recipes

Activities

For the fall:

*50 fun fall activities to do with kids

and...

For whenever:

Hundreds of coloring pages here!

Letter recognition printables here!

25 things to do with a wiggly toddler (boy) here!

The BEST home made play dough here!

so fun!

Here are some more:

-10 Ways to amaze kids: science at home!
-Tons of toddler activities
-Projects/resources for fun kid activities

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And finally...this would not be complete, without some really cute printables/wall art/words!:

Enjoy!!

xo
Kristina