7 months

loves her bath time

says "dada" & "mom" (sound) :)

signs "milk"

loves to blow raspberries

hates tummy time

loves to sit like a big girl

favorite foods:

carrots

spinach

chicken

rice

sopa.

exclusively breast fed!

loves sampson

sofi is her favorite toy

loves waking up to her papi

has two bottom teeth

loves to watch the hive & football games.

download this printable here :)

...she's finally here...

Now I know this is a little late, but recovering from a c-section reeeaallly messes with your time frame for getting stuff done! Ha!

wow.

here is mayah's birth story...

After two back to back losses in 2011, my pregnancy with Mayah was surprisingly and amazingly healthy. I was so so grateful. God blessed us out of no where with a long and healthy pregnancy and by his grace, she was born full term, healthy and is absolutely perfect!

At week 34 I was told baby girl was breech. My heart sank. I know the breech presentation is just a variation of a baby's position and baby wasn't in any harm...BUT-what I also knew was breech=c-section. I was terrified of a c-section. For months Chris and I had prayed and read scripture and key books concerning a natural and med free birth. It's all I had planned. So as the appointments came and went and Mayah wasn't turning, I grew more anxious. I tried for those last few weeks to flip her on our own (I didn't want to do a version). I stalked spinningbabies.com, saw a chiropractor who was certified in the Webster Technique, I did inversions and pelvic tilts like no bodies business. 

Nada.

She wasn't turning...I begged God to let her turn, I coaxed Mayah, "please funny..turn love, turn.." I became obsessed, stressed and was at my wits end. I didn't want surgery. I didn't want the spinal. I wanted immediate skin to skin and delayed cord clamping and no meds....but she wouldn't turn. Chris tried to help me see that in the end, everything would happen just as it should no matter how she was placed. We decided to stand on God's word and his promises. God knew our hearts, he knew what I most desired birth wise and what we had hoped for. We decided to stand on all of that and know that IF Mayah wasn't going to turn, then God didn't want her to. IF she wouldn't turn, she wasn't supposed to. Maybe if she DID turn, something would go wrong with the cord and something even worse could happen. Maybe God was protecting our baby with not letting her turn. 

I had planned to work until my due date...Chris wanted me to leave work as soon as January turned to February..we settled in the middle and February 8th was my last day of work-at 39 weeks exactly. That would give me a week before she came to just be home, finish her room, relax finally..

That Thursday Chris left for one of our biggest events with our youth, the winter event (AMMO Conference) and my sister had planned to stay with me while he was out of town. Of all the weekends for me to go into labor this was the ONE we prayed I wouldn't...

About 40 minutes after I got home, I finally sat on the couch to watch some t.v and felt a tiny gush. A few seconds later, another small gush.

No...this cannot be happening...

Just then my sister got to my house, I met her at her car and told her those infamous words, "I think my water broke" I call labor and delivery and they tell me to go in. Between getting everything together to leave and driving there I felt a few more gushes. I had called Chris and told him not to leave yet until I was sure it was my water. He was about three hours away and I didn't want to cause a stir if it was nothing. But deep down, I knew this was happening. I was in such denial. This wasn't what I had pictured at all..breech baby, for sure c-section, husband out of town and her room wasn't even done.

We got to the hospital and was told that it would be a little bit before the doctor could check me. I called Chris and told him he should probably come; he was already on his way :)

The doctor finally checked me, I was contracting and my water had in fact broke. I was told I had to wait about 6-8 hours to have the procedure because I had eaten a big meal just before my water broke and I thanked God. Because of that, we were able to wait for Chris to get to the hospital. 

Chris finally arrived just as contractions started to pick up. At about five hours into labor I was at the point of breathing and working through some of the contractions. Laboring med free without being able to change positions, stand up, use a birth ball or basically be in any position but my back was irritating to say the least. On top of that, I couldn't eat, drink water or even suck on ONE piece of ice..nothing. So, I labored med free for nearly seven hours before the doctor said everyone was ready and it was time to go! Chris did amazing helping me through the contractions. In the midst of the intense contractions and the impending c-section, my brain was somewhere else and I forgot to ask to be checked to see how far a long I was. I knew it wouldn't matter in terms of the surgery but I really was curious to see how dilated I was. Darn!

I hated every part of the c-section process...the anesthesiologist took about three tries to get the spinal done (she it a nerve twice and my right leg jumped/twitched involuntarily, it hurt so much!) Being THAT numb in so much of my body was the weirdest feeling. Between the oxygen, all the nurses and doctors, that blue curtain, the cold room and bright lights I just wanted to see my baby...

I heard someone say, "there she is!" and all I could hear were voices talking..no baby crying. I heard Chris start to cry and say, "Oh my gosh babe, there she is! She's beautiful, she's perfect. She's here babe." I kept asking where she was, why wasn't she crying? Where is she? Where's my baby? I felt as if I was yelling and no one was answering, Chris said later that I was just barely whispering. I guess between not being able to have ANY water the entire time I was at the hospital and having the oxygen mask on my voice wasn't what I thought it was. Finally out of the corner of my eye, there she was...there was this little person I had known for the last 39 weeks...I could finally look upon her face and kiss those hands and feet...she was here...our miracle baby, our biggest little blessing..she was here.

I was able to see and kiss her really quick while still on the table and then couldn't hold her for over an hour after she was out. But when I finally did...it was as if I was meant to do that my whole life. Recovery was tough, a c-section is no joke! I have a lot to post about a recovery from a c-section, all the issues I faced right away with breast feeding (engorgement, thrush/yeast, etc) and just taking care of a newborn in general but thats for another day....

Here's a glimpse of that day... 

her going home outfit...couldn't resist..this one had to be in color! ;)

Within the last few weeks I have been able to feel our precious baby girl move more and more...

I skipped those ever-so-delicate "flutters". The first time I felt her it was an obvious yet gentle (but unmistakable) thump...as if to say, "Hey mom! I'm in here!"...granted...sometimes her using my cervix or bladder as a punching bag is not so adorable...but every.single.movement is a sweet and evey humbling reminder that we are pregnant with this amazing little miracle....it's a sweet reminder of God's grace in our life. I've heard "grace" described as having something which one does not deserve...unmerited or special favor...

I can tell you this much...having been on the road we have to get to this point- it would be easy to say, "You know what? We deserve this. We have tried for a while. We were so close twice before. I am owed this." But let me tell you.....understanding how fleeting and altogether fragile life is; and understanding who God is and how His heart beats for us..it just is impossible to seem entitled. I am learning to accept God's grace in my life...It is easy to get haughty and entitled when we have been through tough times and then BAM-finally, we get our break....

Yes, that would be easy for me to say or think....but I just can't. God has blessed us with this amazing, perfect, unexpected and unexplainably humbling miracle baby named Mayah...and what better way to pay homage to that which we do not deserve...that which is exceptional and good...God's grace in our life and His grace that display's itself at this moment as the baby girl thriving within me...

... Mayah Grace Avila ...

 

 

She will be Mayah Grace...that middle name we couldn't decide on for while just began to register with our spirit...She is already such an example of God's grace in our life..his favor and mercy...

 

I know I do not deserve her...I am a sinner and act foolish just like everyone else. And I don't know everything about her yet...I don'tknow much at all really. But I know she will be a fiercely passionate & loving force to be reckoned with...and for the rest of my life..I will live every day in an attempt to show God just how grateful we are for Miss Mayah...even now, most days-I am overwhelmed by just how real and present all of this really is...I really cannot describe how amazing this is...how grateful we are...Thank you Jesus..

 

...We are so in love...I can't wait to see her beautiful face....

 

 

"Out of His fullness we have received grace..." John 1:16

...

Glorious-Bryan & Katie Torwalt

 

 

 

 



 

 

 

week 16

 

...no cravings still..

...yes still loving the ice water...

...baby is now the size of an avocado or about 4 inches long!...

...I cannot stand the smell of popcorn-can't do it. nope...

{i just heard thunder outside..lost my train of thought..i hate thunder!}

...anyway...

...nope...lost it....

 

 

 

 

These last couple of weeks I have really been allowing myself to feel pregnant in every sense, including mentally and emotionally. I think with the previous losses last year and just the anxiousness and worry that comes along with a normal pregnancy alone-it all held me back a little bit. I will say though that I was never fearful this time around-not really...no...

 

While losing two pregnancies and ultimately two babies months a part in one year was enough to make me think its time to "take a break" and more than enough to truly terrify me of another pregnancy. But once I realized I was pregnant this year in June.....I wasn't afraid. I think going through those losses helped me to realize just how sovereign God is and how much things are just not in my hands. Now-I'm not going to say "God allows this or that" or "he lets this or that happen yadda yadda"-I am not God, how would I know? But I do know that no matter what ends up happening-God is above it all, he is in control. He knows my heart and desires and he loves me deeply. He has Chris and I in the palm of his hands and while the losses were the worst times in my life-they didn't last for forever. I miss by babies and wonder what could have been sometimes-but I know that if they aren't with me-the fact that they are in Jesus' arms comfort me none the less. And really-we made it out okay and our faith was stronger after each experience...somehow this time around too I knew *if*....IF......if sometheing were to happen, yes my heart would hurt but eventually we would be alright. I begged God to let us have this baby..I pleaded with him...I cried out to him with each little cramp I had...I wasn't expecting to lose this one like I thought I would-I just really really wanted to have a long and healthy pregnancy. I wanted to bring a baby home. I wanted that empty guest room to finally be a nursery. I wanted to hold my child. So while I had no fear and I knew God had already given me this miracle; I decided I would enjoy this for however long it lasts. I would tell myself, "today you are pregnant, and today you love your baby."  I was. And I did.

 

I know for some people this all may sound dramatic or even a little jaded or hint of cynicism-but being pregnant after losses is not a cake walk people. However-and this is a BIG however-my relationship with Christ has never been more important to me and I know God has pulled me through and above the fear, worry & anxiety that would have probably clouded my pregnancy (normally). He had mercy on my nerves and showed grace to my heart...and so I chose to finally recieve it and celebrate this baby and this pregnacy.

 

So I am sorry if I post too many "bump" pictures or if your news feed is clogged with "baby" this or "craving" that--this is just a true and evident miracle in my life and I want to shout it to the world! To God be the Glory and thank you to my husband for being an amazing partner in this journey already...

 

I know me getting sick, not being able to eat much, losing weight, hating the smell of his beloved late night snack (popcorn) and the irritability (alredady) hasn't been easy on me or Chris--but he's been pretty darn great thus far and I love you babe...  Do I sometimes just want to punch you "accidentally" as you slumber away perfectly while I lay awake at night with heartburn & acid reflux tossing and turning? Suuuurrre.....sometimes. BUT-I don't. Because I love you. Because I am grateful for you. And because you probably wouldn't wake up anyway...

 

Anyway..

 

So here is to 16 weeks so far of a healthy pregnancy! Baby is doing great and soon enough we will know whether this little bambino is a boy or girl!!

 

 

14.

...not so nauseated..but I have my moments...
...ice water is my relief...

..now constantly sleeping with my amazing pregnancy pillow (katie coleman you are an angel!)...

...no cravings what so ever...I still have food aversions :(...

...my stomach has "popped" and I just shook my head in awe today, my belly is starting to form-

  so grateful to God...

...baby is the size of a lemon!...
...must have snaks on hand at all times, empty stomach=noooo good...

...God bless whoever invented full panel maternity pants!...

I know I sort of have a "smile-but-deer-in-the-headlights" look going on here...it was a long past couple of days..I was so tired!! :)

Caught off guard. Taken by surprise. Shocked.

These are all the things I felt when I discovered I was infact pregnant in early June...I usually like to make a long story longer :) But for privacy's sake I will make this one short....

After going through two losses last year, Chris and I decided to take a break from trying for another baby..for personal reasons we felt this was just the right decision. As bittersweet as it was to make that decision. To be so close to becoming parents and then it all going away...it was not the easiest-but we committed our plans to God. I surrendered...struggled a little..and then God took over. We had peace and knew the Lord was with us..

In the meantime I met with doctors, got a new eating plan (paleo diet), was put on certain suppliments and taken off certain other medications..my body was being encouraged to correct itself with the help of these things. I cannot begin to describe the transformation my body had made it was awesome...to go from 6 migraines a month to none was immeasurable and other things that started to fall in line which also affected fertility-the proof was in the pudding-or rather in the paleo :)

Now more than ever, I truly believe that God know's my own heart even better than I do. He see's those deep desires and my strong will and softens my spirit. He know's me like no other. His blessings and rebukes speak to exactly what I need. So on that afternoon of July 7th when I realized Chris and I were expecting-expecting a baby...pregnant......I was shocked. At this point we had not been trying for a baby but trying to naturally keep our plan a float...but it seemed God had other plans.

After early doctors appointments, first trimester screenings and ultrasounds...nervous moments and months of being really, really sick, hearing our baby's heartbeat and waiting a little... it's now time to share the wonderful news! Our little family is growing as we take in each breath. With ever beat my heart takes, my child is alive and well and I am so humbled and grateful. My heart is so happy

 A friend of ours told us, "God searched the whole world and knew that you were the perfect couple to raise this child for such a time as this." and you know what...more and more I believe that very statement. God is so faithful. He has such perfect plans and timing even beyond what we can comprehend. So....I'm just going to receive it! We are blessed beyond words...elated and excited. Thank you to those of you who have been praying for us for so long and continue to keep us lifted...we know prayer works and we feel them!! We love you all....and we are so, so grateful..Blessings!

Can't wait to meet our little love bug!

xo

Kris