Above all else..

Psalm 91

¹ Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.^[a]
2 I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
³ Surely he will save you
from the fowler’s snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
⁴ He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
⁵ You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
⁶ nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
⁷ A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
⁸ You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.
⁹ If you say, “The LORD is my refuge,”
and you make the Most High your dwelling,
¹⁰ no harm will overtake you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
¹¹ For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
¹² they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
¹³ You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
¹⁴ “Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
¹⁵ He will call on me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
¹⁶ With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”

I have to be honest..in working through this I did still find some day to still be so hard..and while I had set my baby in the hands of Jesus..and we dedicated her to Christ..I still felt the emptiness.

It amazes me how immediate, deep and overflowing..the love I have for my child. I didn't even meet her face to face and yet how much I miss her..I can't even explain. But I know she is in heaven, resting with The King of Kings..the one who comforts mommy & daddy..and in heaven..she is also there with her Grandma (Chris' mom) & Grandpa (my dad's dad) :)

Currently, the doctor thinks I have finally finished miscarrying...my body should start to go back to normal and soon it will all seem better. Right now though, I know my hormones are the biggest battle. I was told, I could feel deep sadness and even slight depression, simply due to the hormonal imbalance and shift that comes when the body tries to stabalize the hormones after the loss...

Even after the loss, my body still thought I was pregnant..I actually had to have a procedure to dialate me and pills to induce contractions..the physical aspect was just..painful and now with all of that done for good I hope..I am left to recover not only physically, but emotionally and even mentally.

I am not here to...dwell on the pain, though..because God's word says I AM made whole. And no matter what the doctors say..I dont want to live my days expecting more pain and sadness or even depression, I dont claim any of this for me. I will not have it. Because I know God has called my body to wholeness and he has begun a work He intends to finish. I know that my beautiful baby is in heaven and in the presence of our Saviour...How amazing is it..that she felt no pain and even looked as if she was sleeping in her last ultrasound. And even though she was with us for 11 short weeks..she is now in eternity in the presence of angels and our Heavenly Father..what a comfort to know that not only did the pregnancy boost our faith and the faith of others, but while she is there in heaven..her little life is still touching others.

I have had women message me that they too have had losses..and one, even after almost four years and having a son who is now 3 1/2..she had not dealt with the loss, and since reading the blog, and how we have taken steps to try to honor God through all this and honor the short life of our first baby..she has been able to find comfort and peace finally.. Praise God...Praise you Lord....

You see, in the toughest times..we try to reason "why"...and I can say, that even if I had some solid or spiritual reasoning as to why we have had to endure this...it will not change what has happened, nor will it change the fact that we still LOVE our God..or the fact that we still want children..

So when I am told, to expect pain both in the physical and emotional..to expect feelings of depression...I nod and take a deep breath. I realize what this world has to say regarding what to expect with the loss..thats fine. But I serve a God who said He would be with me..near to me and comfort me.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit"-Psalm 34:18

A God who's Word says He was wounded and broken so that I may be made whole. A God who's scars will heal mine..and who said He is here to heal us..because He is the only potter to fix what has been broken..

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds"-Psalm 147:3

He is with us even in our deepest need..we are NEVER alone..

"Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Psalm 23:4

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze."-Isaiah 43:2

And be sure of this; I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Matthew 28:20

And not only will he be with us..in our pain and time of great need..He will deliver and protect us..


"Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but God delivers Him out of them all."-Psalm 34:19

"Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you and you will honor me."-Psalm 50:22


So even though the World says to continue to expect pain, God said He would heal me. And I can trust His Word..

"For no Word from God will ever fail."-Luke 1:37

And after all this.. God continues to show us His unfailing love..a love we cannot earn but one He freely gives. Not only does he lay with us and weep when we weep..and hurt when we hurt..He delivers and protects us..He comforts us..and is allows us to put all of us in Him

"And so Lord, where do I put hope? My only hope is in you."-Psalm 39:7

He refines us..He purifies us..

"These trials are only to test your faith.. It's (faith) being tested as fire tests and purifies gold...." 1 Peter 1:7

And then...we come out, stronger that ever..


God gives power to the faint and strengthens the powerless. But those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles. They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."-Isaiah 40:29-31

That is the God we serve. He loves us deeply..He never leaves us..I am beyond grateful, that this is the kind of God we have..

God in Heaven...we recognize today that you are still on the throne. You are above all else, you see things in ways we cannot and we bring Glory to you Father. In our deepest need, God-rescue us from the waters we see no way out of. Change our hearts and minds God to the things of YOU. We love you Lord..We worship you..You alone are God. We trust you..we declare healing over us, physically, mentally and emotionally...we know you are here God so help us to draw near to you..we yearn to feel you Jesus. Wrap us in your mighty arms of love and hold us as we weep. Then, God...renew our joy once again..bring your Holy Spirit to move upon us..so that we may move on behalf of you. Continue to show us your Will while we wait on you.

Jesus I thank you right now..for the babies you have for us..ready for us to love and kiss and hold. I thank you for the children to come, that they are healthy and strong. Thank you that you see them now and they are blessed and healthy..that the conception will be perfect and whole..your works are wonderful God and there are many more to come--your hand does not fail or miss..you have formed their every part and your works are perfect..your righteousness and perfection prevail beyond the pain. You make no mistake God, we trust you and know that in our weakness, you are made strong and so we reside in you. We thank you for all the blessings we have God, including eachother..and most of all God..we thank you..that we still have you...and you are so Good..

Related Items blessing faith glory God Jesus Lord love miscarriage praise pregnancy