I skipped those ever-so-delicate "flutters". The first time I felt her it was an obvious yet gentle (but unmistakable) thump...as if to say, "Hey mom! I'm in here!"...granted...sometimes her using my cervix or bladder as a punching bag is not so adorable...but every.single.movement is a sweet and evey humbling reminder that we are pregnant with this amazing little miracle....it's a sweet reminder of God's grace in our life. I've heard "grace" described as having something which one does not deserve...unmerited or special favor...
I can tell you this much...having been on the road we have to get to this point- it would be easy to say, "You know what? We deserve this. We have tried for a while. We were so close twice before. I am owed this." But let me tell you.....understanding how fleeting and altogether fragile life is; and understanding who God is and how His heart beats for us..it just is impossible to seem entitled. I am learning to accept God's grace in my life...It is easy to get haughty and entitled when we have been through tough times and then BAM-finally, we get our break....
Yes, that would be easy for me to say or think....but I just can't. God has blessed us with this amazing, perfect, unexpected and unexplainably humbling miracle baby named Mayah...and what better way to pay homage to that which we do not deserve...that which is exceptional and good...God's grace in our life and His grace that display's itself at this moment as the baby girl thriving within me...
... Mayah Grace Avila ...
She will be Mayah Grace...that middle name we couldn't decide on for while just began to register with our spirit...She is already such an example of God's grace in our life..his favor and mercy...
I know I do not deserve her...I am a sinner and act foolish just like everyone else. And I don't know everything about her yet...I don'tknow much at all really. But I know she will be a fiercely passionate & loving force to be reckoned with...and for the rest of my life..I will live every day in an attempt to show God just how grateful we are for Miss Mayah...even now, most days-I am overwhelmed by just how real and present all of this really is...I really cannot describe how amazing this is...how grateful we are...Thank you Jesus..
...We are so in love...I can't wait to see her beautiful face....
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| "Out of His fullness we have received grace..." John 1:16 ...
Glorious-Bryan & Katie Torwalt
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